dentist visit: # too many

My dentist is a nice guy; he shakes my hand every time and I call him "Doc" and he asks how I'm doing. The hygienists are all nice ladies; smiling, caring and almost stiflingly positive. The receptionist does her part, too; she is helpful, efficient and patient when it comes to the topic of insurance/payment. The office even has TV's in each examination cubby with cable to distract you while they're digging in your mouth.

Despite all of this, I have an incredibly difficult time calling them and setting up appointments. While in to fill a couple of cavities last week, amidst glimpses of the US v Ukrainian middle-weight wrestling match, I mentioned sensitivity to extreme cold & hot on the other side of my mouth in the lower row of molars. I thought perhaps there was something wrong with a filling from last Spring but the dentist told me instead that I had found a different cavity in a previously unadulterated tooth.

He commended me for having pinpointed this new cavity that had eluded earlier X-rays while I made a mental note to keep my trap shut next time I was there. As I left trying not to drool out my half-numb face, the receptionist kindly handed me a business card for the office to keep as a reminder to call her back and set up the next appointment -- I had lied to her that the next week was very busy and I'd have to review my schedule once at work before I could schedule the appointment. This was Wednesday and I have yet to call her and schedule the visit.

Why? I can only imagine it's got something to do with that digging in my mouth bit. I wish I could smile and simply say, "no, thanks!" But I know if I don't go in and get this sorted out it will surely lead to my dental demise: the cavity will grow necessitating a root canal, which will, in turn, get infected and require yanking the tooth all together. This will leave a gap in my chompers, creating a weak point where I'll later break off my jaw in a bicycle accident. Then I'll be the freak with no jaw and townsfolk will throw cabbage and rotten vegetables at me while babies cry and women shriek. I'll have to join the circus and marry the bearded lady with three legs and my life will be totally ruined.


Man, I think I'll call on Monday.