Illin' Update

Yesterday was a bad day as far as my sickness goes; I stayed home from work yesterday morning and came in late for a half day. I felt like crap yesterday morning so it felt appropriate. I awoke this morning feeling better than yesterday, so I decided to try my hand at a little physical exertion and rode in to work. I had initially figured I'd take it slow and just get the legs moving, but I felt good enough to go a little harder than just spinning so I changed the plan to doing a little work-out on the way in. Apples says we hammered on our commute, so OK. Sometimes it helps me to sweat illness out of my system.

An hour later and I'm feeling alright. Still sick, to be sure, but not any worse really than I felt before getting on the bike. We'll see how the ride home goes, but things are looking good for racing this weekend at Red Barn.

oh no

I came home last night with a stoofy nose and heavy head. Woke up this morning with a runny nose, bit of a sore throat and stoofy head.

Is this just reaction to the flu shot from last week? Is it from racing this Sunday in freezing temps wearing not much more than a cycling kit with arm and knee warmers?

I feel my odds are better if it's the former, and I'm quietly hoping that's all this is...

green acres cyclocross

holy shet we had some crappy weather today; perfect weather, though, for cyclocross! I believe we were at about 35F at the time of our race, and had snow/drizzle coming down on us to varying degrees throughout the 30 minutes. Miserable. Awesome.

I invited the popsicle kisses crowd to come out and see what all the fuss was about -- I understand thems got real cold and wet like, but I thoroughly appreciated their presence. I could hear them cheering for me on each lap; thanks guys!

Let's see if I can recap appropriately...

Race is to start at 11am. I wanted to get there on-time/early this weekend (as opposed to my other races this fall which have all felt rushed) so I plotted an ETA of no later than 9:30am. Apples (formerly Weezy), A and I had a nice sit-down breakfast at Zumbro and arrived out in Lake Elmo right on time. I planned to ride the trainer outside of the car, but I was way to cold; Apples and I decided to take to the local roads and get our "warm-up" in there. I worked out fine, and we lined up with about 50+ other folks for the C race.

The course was in part (or completely?) designed by Ped; he puts together good courses from experience so I was eager to give it a go. There was a giant hill at the outset of the course that would be integrated into the mid-point of the course in subsequent laps. After that we rode up and around a large field, which allowed time to recover from the climb. The climb was brutal. By the second lap, almost everyone around me was riding real slow like upon cresting that hill. Would have been a great time to make a move, but I was equally blown. I checked the heart rate after the hill on the first two laps and registered in the high 180's each time. Close to dizzy-time, so I stopped checking on the rest of the laps -- there was no point and I was just going to waste more energy.

After the loop around the field came the descending. I really like descending; mostly because I'm not shitty at it. And a lot of other road racers are kind of pusses when it comes to riding fast down hill. I thank my silly dh/freeride days for this. I stayed up on the off-camber switchbacks for all but my last lap; I stacked it good on the final turn in my final lap after having made up ground on 4 or 5 dudes with some hard work on the field just before. When I got up, my handlebars were super tweeked to the side and I tried to straighten my front end in vein as the same 4 or 5 dudes went back past me. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Back to the course...

After crossing the start/finish line (this is a circuit course, btw, sort of like a lot of auto racing you see on teevee) we hung a left and rolled around the farm land a bit, through a hairpin turn and into a fast sand section. It was only about 20ft long so it was totally ridable. You just had to not stop. Some folks did. These folks fell. After the sand, there was one more obstacle before hitting the massive hill; an off camber run-in to a barrier and a left turn into a steep little run up. It was tough because the barrier was perpendicular to the course before the run up so you had to jump the barrier, and then immediately start running up hill 90 degrees to your left. This sucked a lot of the energy out of my legs just in time for hitting the hill.

All in all things went well. I stacked it only once and it was at the end. I learned I'd have been better served by a smaller gear (running a 42 x 12-25) because of the hill. I was able to ride the hill out all but once when I had to dismount in the last 30ft after my rear wheel slid out. Still, I was totally wrecked after that hill and this left precious little energy for chasing.

Apples managed a top 10 result coming in 9th. Bravo, Apples. Big shouts out to Ped for the course and yelling at me to get in a bigger gear at a critical time, to DC and Scherer for running alongside me on the hill and helling at me to keep going, to A, of course, and again to the popsicle crowd for awesome support and coming out in the crap weather.

Take care of that noggin, Smithers, you gonna need it next weekend at Taylors Falls.

the pot and the kettle

The right wing harps on Hollywood for being unqualified liberal gas-bags: what do actors know about politics, anyway? These types should keep their elitist out-of-touch opinions to themselves and focus on acting. Period.

What does it say that one of the current Repub darlings, Mr. Aahnold of Caleeforneea, has been the subject of speculation for future presidential candidacy? What of the fact that the Rebubs' poster boy, the hallow Mr. Regan, was himself, too, just another actor from Hollywood?

Smacks of hypocrisy to me. You?

odd

I was scheduled for my flu shot today. When I sat down next to the administrator of my shot, she asked if I wanted a flu shot or a flu spray. Intrigued, I inquired after the latter. Unbeknown to me, there's a nasal spray option for the flu vaccine. No needle, no stabee.

So, OK. I chose the nasal spray option.

Nothing much to report 10 minutes later other than a slightly runny nose, and even that is getting better with every passing minute. If this works out fine, I am totally done with flu shots herein. Sweet!

hi-larious

T3 is a funny guy. He is also the proprietor of yeast waffles, which I hope to enjoy some weekend in the near future. I came across use of the phrase "crabby pants" on his blog this morning and laughed out loud.

I don't know if it's that funny a phrase in real life -- maybe I just needed to laugh, who knows -- but I thought it was great and I have decided to incorporate this phrase into my vernacular. I will try it out on A in the mornings when she is just waking up and still half-asleep to scold her, "take off them crabby pants!!"

She'll totally think it's funny, realize the error of her ways and not hate me in the slightest bit!

put a muzzle on 'er

Michele Bachmann is out of line. Well, ok, she's always been out of line; but right now people seem to have taken notice to her unbridled crazy.

If you haven't already seen clips, Bachmann went on teevee this weekend to voice concern over Barack Obama's (as well as pretty much any Democratic member of Congress') "anti-American" views.

Since it is no longer acceptable in polite society to burn witches at the stake, please take a moment or two to fill out this on-line petition asking Congress to censure Michele Bachmann. Since she is incapable of keeping her mouth closed and the stoopid inside of her own head it is appropriate that she be told to shut up and sit down.

Civilization itself thanks you for your time.

scientific experiment

Water.
During cross racing, some believe it to be unnecessary, others believe otherwise.
Last weekend out at Ham Lake I could have probably done without. At Wirth, I went without but wished desperately that I'd had it available.

There's also A's perspective; I've asked her to do water hand-ups for me at the races I've done this year. But she enjoys watching the race and wants the freedom to walk around and see the different parts of the course: barriers, potential mud, obstacles, etc. Having to hang out at the water pit pretty much means she has to work during my race instead of enjoying herself checking things out.

What to do?

I'll tell you what to do. Well, I'll tell you what I'm going to try out during an experiment. There is such a thing called a fuelbelt (click on the link... I know; holy christ, right?). Tri-dorks wear these things when they're running. It's basically a gimmicky-type product that gives you access to a collection of small (8oz) water bottles that you can wear in a belt like grenades rather than having to carry by hand a regular water bottle. I've tried one of these things running, but the tension of the belt around my belly just makes me need to go poop mid-run -- not exactly convenient.

BUT, having one of these bottles with me during a cross race might not be such a bad idea. Instead of donning the stupid belt, I'd simply slide one of these bottles into my left jersey pocket. The bottles flattened dimensions and small size should give me enough water with which to have a quick drink at those two or three junctures during the race when I'm dying for it, without too much of a weight penalty AND without sacrificing A's freedom of movement at the race.

I'm excited to try it out as I think it's going to turn out to be an awesome idea. We'll see how it goes at Lake Elmo.

Btw, you should come out and see some racing.
It's totally awesome.

Seriously.
I'll send you directions.

cross race #3

Last weekend's race at Theo Wirth sucked so much ass that it did not warrant an entry. sorry. just wasn't going to happen.

Back to today...

Ham Lake. It's just north of Blaine, just south of Manitoba. I'd heard good things about this course and was eager to redeem myself (if only to myself) after last weekend's performance (or total lack thereof). Things went pretty well. The course was really really flat, and had a long-ish paved section. There was one triplet barrier section and one mud pit that looked way more threatening than it actually was. Otherwise the course was almost entirely contained within the bounds of a pine forest with a few deciduous trees mixed for good measure.

The C race was first, so the ground was pretty soft and the dirt was loose. I understand that pine tree leavenings leach a fair amount of acid into the ground and this makes the soil rather sandy. This made for a lot of really fun floating in corners and also claimed a few riders' positions during the race. One such rider, playing the role of total amateur, decided he was going to remove his full finger gloves at speed and mid course in the middle of a terribly bumpy single-track section. I suspected this would end poorly and numb-nuts did not disappoint. I had backed off a bit from riding his wheel and sure enough a rut or root or something turned his bars sideways and the dude was down. I considered riding him over for a moment but instead worked to get around his flailing form without loosing too much momentum.

After the race I saw the guy and suggested it hadn't been the smartest thing to do and next time keep the gloves on or not put 'em on in the first place. This is a 30 minute race. It is not the grand tour. There is no need to add or to remove layers of any sort. Dude just replied insipidly, "yea, sorry about that." Don't be sorry dude! Just don't be an idiot. Next time I will run over his chest or something.


Anyway, back to the racing. Lap 1 was ok. It is always a mad scramble/dash/sprint -- whatever you want to call it. I tried my best to keep myself in the top third of the pack without going hog-wild and over-exerting myself. Going by a friend 3/4 of the way up the course, I held 16th position. It turned out pretty well as on the second lap I made up four or five spots and was leading a small chase group going into the barriers at the end of the circuit. Lap 3 went less well and I gave up a couple spots from my effort in the previous go-around. Lap 4 featured the kid eating dirt, and from there on in, I think we maybe rode six or seven laps total in the allotted time.

I found that I felt good recovering on the long-ish paved section, though I was surprised that even at recovery speed, I was still generally overcoming at least 2 or 3 dudes on that stretch. My goal there was to bring my HR down 5-10 bpm's before reentering the forest. Generally, my aim was to go as hard as possible without blowing up. I was only close to feeling wrecked once about 22 minutes in, but at that point I realized there was only going to be a lap and a half left and it was no time to slow down. I am glad to report that I managed to keep it at the same intensity and finish reasonably strong.

In the end, I finished 14th overall -- probably in the top 25%. I felt pretty good about this race, especially as compared to last weekend's debacle at Wirth. I again have hopes and maybe a wee bit of expectation that I can break top 10 consistently before the season's over and perhaps even score myself a top 5 finish before the end of state's in mid-November. I've got four more weekends to make it happen.

Good times.

did you see that?

McCain just finished digging his political grave -- 19 days ahead of schedule!
If you missed it, I'm sure it'll be on youtube later this week.

A few quick observations:

- Big shout out to Joe the plumber, I guess.

- What is it with equating pro-choice to "pro-abortion?"

- McCain got agitated a lot; Obama kept his cool the whole time. I wonder which is more likely to appeal to centrist/independent voters?

- Mit Romney is still a dick.

- Good thing McCain chided Obama for his eloquence... cause, like, I totally wouldn't want an intelligent individual with an actual understanding of the issues to be president of the United States.

halloween

Halloween is coming; are you prepared?

I'm scrambling to get my proverbial excrement together for this year's costume. I don't know if I'll be able to top the crab from a couple years back but I'm certainly going to do my best.


Yes, those are giant working foam pincers. I also added a french-style giant mustache to cap it all off. Totally would've won costume of the year.

comparrison

While Barack Obama unveiled a revised economic plan last night in light of our financial crisis, McCain's campaign flounders.

Hey, no problem! You take as long as you need, John. We'll just hold tight.

Leadership we can count on.

Yup.

ummmm....

So, when the right vilifies European economic attitudes as stifling, backward and even (god forbid) Socialist, what does it say about the US when, by all intelligent and informed accounts, Europe -- especially the UK -- appear to be getting it right not only in terms of efficacy but also in quickness when addressing our global financial crisis?

Europe has rendered a plan and embarked upon its implementation in the same amount of time it's taken our treasury to say, "here's what we're plannin' ta do..."

Sort of makes us look like jokers rather than world leaders.

And speaking of leadership, where the f$#k is Bush on all this? Bueller? Bueller...?

question for today

what is up with people using catch phrases lately?
Palin with "Maverick(s)" in reference to herself and McNutters.
One of my vendors with "Until it's in my hands, it's vapor-ware" in reference to their new products.

Enough already.

question for today

Is it worthwhile to subscribe to the Economist for one year at about $100 total cost? I've had a subscription to this publication before and I'm generally able to read most of what I want every other week (it is a weekly subscription). I currently receive no other print media having relied solely on NPR and the internets for the past year+.

For purposes of full disclosure, I will note that I am leaning in one direction but wanted to "put it out there" to see what folk(s) thought. This is where you, my solitary reader, would comment...

thought for today

Politics are stoopid, pointless and usually offend at least one person no matter what.

Sometimes I don't know why I even bother. Still, I press on...

Cross racing 2008: #1

Race number one of 2008.
Mediocre finish: 17th.
Beat Weezy at least.

I'm definitely going to stick with the C category til either win or place in top 5 a couple times. This one was way harder/faster than the Powderhorn race I did 3 years back; don't know if it has something to do with the re-shuffling of cross categories. Though, perhaps I should focus on top 10 first...

The Grifo XS tubulars were phenomenal, btw. The course (Corcoran) was very dry and a mix of mostly grass and loose dirt/gravel. I ran about 40psi and probably could've gone lower but I don't know that it would have made much difference. I look forward to playing with different tire pressures in the coming weeks. Also with my yet-unused Fango tubulars!

More tomorrow.
Time for bed now.
I'm shweepy.

comedy

Courtesy of George Saunders and the New Yorker:

Explaining how she felt when John McCain offered her the Vice-Presidential spot, my Vice-Presidential candidate, Governor Sarah Palin, said something very profound: “I answered him ‘Yes’ because I have the confidence in that readiness and knowing that you can’t blink, you have to be wired in a way of being so committed to the mission, the mission that we’re on, reform of this country and victory in the war, you can’t blink. So I didn’t blink then even when asked to run as his running mate.”
Isn’t that so true? I know that many times, in my life, while living it, someone would come up and, because of I had good readiness, in terms of how I was wired, when they asked that—whatever they asked—I would just not blink, because, knowing that, if I did blink, or even wink, that is weakness, therefore you can’t, you just don’t. You could, but no—you aren’t.
That is just how I am.
Do you know the difference between me and a Hockey Mom who has forgot her lipstick?
A dog collar.
Do you know the difference between me and a dog collar smeared with lipstick?
Not a damn thing.
We are essentially wired identical.
So, when Barack Obama says he will put some lipstick on my pig, I am, like, Are you calling me a pig? If so, thanks! Pigs are the most non-Élite of all barnyard animals. And also, if you put lipstick on my pig, do you know what the difference will be between that pig and a pit bull? I’ll tell you: a pit bull can easily kill a pig. And, as the pig dies, guess what the Hockey Mom is doing? Going to her car, putting on more lipstick, so that, upon returning, finding that pig dead, she once again looks identical to that pit bull, which, staying on mission, the two of them step over the dead pig, looking exactly like twins, except the pit bull is scratching his lower ass with one frantic leg, whereas the Hockey Mom is carrying an extra hockey stick in case Todd breaks his again. But both are going, like, Ha ha, where’s that dumb pig now? Dead, that’s who, and also: not a smidge of lipstick.
A lose-lose for the pig.
There’s a lesson in that, I think.
Who does that pig represent, and that collar, and that Hockey Mom, and that pit bull?
You figure it out. Then give me a call.
Seriously, give me a call.
Now, let us discuss the Élites. There are two kinds of folks: Élites and Regulars. Why people love Sarah Palin is, she is a Regular. That is also why they love me. She did not go to some Élite Ivy League college, which I also did not. Her and me, actually, did not go to the very same Ivy League school. Although she is younger than me, so therefore she didn’t go there slightly earlier than I didn’t go there. But, had I been younger, we possibly could have not graduated in the exact same class. That would have been fun. Sarah Palin is hot. Hot for a politician. Or someone you just see in a store. But, happily, I did not go to college at all, having not finished high school, due to I killed a man. But had I gone to college, trust me, it would not have been some Ivy League Élite-breeding factory but, rather, a community college in danger of losing its accreditation, built right on a fault zone, riddled with asbestos, and also, the crack-addicted professors are all dyslexic.
Sarah Palin was also the mayor of a very small town. To tell the truth, this is where my qualifications begin to outstrip even hers. I have never been the mayor of anything. I can’t even spell right. I had help with the above, but now— Murray, note to Murray: do not correct what follows. Lets shoe the people how I rilly spel Mooray and punshuate so thay can c how reglar I am, and ther 4 fit to leed the nashun, do to: not sum mistir fansy pans.
OK Mooray. Get corecting agin!
Thanks, Murray, you’re fabulous. Very good at what you do. Actually, Murray, come to think of it, you are so good, I suspect you are some kind of Élite. You are fired, Murray, as soon as this article is done. I’m going to hire someone Regular, who is not so excellent, and lives off the salt of the land and the fat of his brow and the sweat of his earth. Although I hope he’s not a screw-up.
I’m finding it hard to concentrate, as my eyes are killing me, due to I have not blinked since I started writing this. And, me being Regular, it takes a long time for me to write something this long.
Where was I? Ah, yes: I hate Élites. Which is why, whenever I am having brain surgery, or eye surgery, which is sometimes necessary due to all my non-blinking, I always hire some random Regular guy, with shaking hands if possible, who is also a drunk, scared of the sight of blood, and harbors a secret dislike for me.
Now, let’s talk about slogans. Ours is: Country First. Think about it. When you think of what should come first, what does? Us ourselves? No. That would be selfish. Our personal families? Selfish. God? God is good, I love Him, but, as our slogan suggests, no, sorry, God, You are not First. No, you don’t, Lord! How about: the common good of all mankind! Is that First? Don’t make me laugh with your weak blinking! No! Mercy is not First and wisdom is not First and love is super but way near the back, and ditto with patience and discernment and compassion and all that happy crap, they are all back behind Country, in the back of my S.U.V., which— Here is an example! Say I am about to run over a nun or orphan, or an orphan who grew up to become a nun—which I admire that, that is cool, good bootstrapping there, Sister—but then God or whomever goes, “It is My will that you hit that orphaned nun, do not ask Me why, don’t you dare, and I say unto thee, if you do not hit that nun, via a skillful swerve, your Country is going to suffer, and don’t ask Me how, specifically, as I have not decided that yet!” Well, I am going to do my best to get that nun in one felt swope, because, at the Convention, at which my Vice-Presidential candidate kicked mucho butt, what did the signs there say? Did they say “Orphaned Nuns First” and then there is a picture of a sad little nun with a hobo pack?
Not in my purview.
Sarah Palin knows a little something about God’s will, knowing God quite well, from their work together on that natural-gas pipeline, and what God wills is: Country First. And not just any country! There was a slight error on our signage. Other countries, such as that one they have in France, reading our slogan, if they can even read real words, might be all, like, “Hey, bonjour, they are saying we can put our country, France, first!” Non, non, non, France! What we are saying is, you’d better put our country first, you merde-heads, or soon there will be so much lipstick on your pit bulls it will make your berets spin!
In summary: Because my candidate, unlike your winking/blinking Vice-Presidential candidate, who, though, yes, he did run as the running mate when the one asking him to run did ask him to run, which that I admire, one thing he did not do, with his bare hands or otherwise, is, did he ever kill a moose? No, but ours did. And I would. Please bring a moose to me, over by me, and down that moose will go, and, if I had a kid, I would take a picture of me showing my kid that dead moose, going, like, Uh, sweetie, no, he is not resting, he is dead, due to I shot him, and now I am going to eat him, and so are you, oh yes you are, which is responsible, as God put this moose here for us to shoot and eat and take a photo of, although I did not, at that time, know why God did, but in years to come, God’s will was revealed, which is: Hey, that is a cool photo for hunters about to vote to see, plus what an honor for that moose, to be on the Internet.
How does the moose feel about it? Who knows? Probably not great. But do you know what the difference is between a dead moose with lipstick on and a dead moose without lipstick?
Lipstick.
Think about it.
Moose are, truth be told, Élites. They are big and fast and sort of rule the forest. Sarah took that one down a notch. Who’s Élite now, Bullwinkle?
Not Sarah.
She’s just Regular as heck.

birthday!!

Woohoo, I got a new iPod!!

Home at last!

I don't think I've ever been so excited to be back in Minnesota.
Not that I didn't enjoy my trip but damn, it's good to be home.