what it means to hemorrhage irony

It doesn't get any better than this.

Sarah Palin's 17 year-old daughter, Bristol, is five months prego. No, seriously; I'm not making this up. See for yourself.

The expecting mother and proud pappy are going to get hitched and raise the kid, according to the Palin family's press release. This is fine and dandy and I truly hope everything turns out OK and that the kids -- including that little bundle of joy in the oven -- don't grow up to become unstable adults.

I do believe one would have to be a fool, though, to think the girl had much choice in the matter. After all, it's a well known fact that conservatives are anywhere from 50 to about 2500 years (give or take) behind the times. I suppose if my grandpa knocked up my grandma out of wedlock they'd have been ushered down the isle in much the same way. But this isn't the point of my post.

The point, gentle reader, is the following:

When she ran for governor of Alaska in 2006, Sarah Palin was asked if she would support abstinence-before-marriage programs over sex education, school clinics and contraceptive distribution. She was firm in her answer: "Explicit sex ed programs will not find my support."

If there ever comes a time when you wonder, "gosh, what does foot taste like?" I think you'd do well to strap that blue-tooth onto your dome and give good ol' Sarah Palin a call. I'm sure she'll be able to set your right straight. And I do mean straight, kids. Because gays are the devil.